it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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