she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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