Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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