I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
