Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize