I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
