just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It's just like the Real World with babies
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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