I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
