we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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