i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The air was thick with penises
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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