what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
