Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
