stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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