Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
