I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
