Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
