The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
