Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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