Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sobbing to NWA
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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