was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
