Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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