1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
