If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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