Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
