just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
