Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
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I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
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I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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