She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
