Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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