you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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