we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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