please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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