Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
