Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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