By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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