:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
