One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
that may or may not have been my penis.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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