I never want to see another naked old woman again.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize