This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
why do cheetos always look like penises
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
