its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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