Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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