ya dads aren't the best wingmen
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You may now shotgun with the bride
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
