Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
