You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
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I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
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I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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