My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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