she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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