Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
