captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
