I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
