i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
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