But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
