That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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