i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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