I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
