Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
