Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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