I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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