Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
