i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
