Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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