WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
