I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
