You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize