Nicole vs. Life
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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