I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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