Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
