Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
