that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he shaved USA in his pubs
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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